Enjoying some dark chocolate almond milk in my favorite cup before work
it’s the cutest cup :3
i see your cat cup and raise you a cat bowl
Your cat bowl has nothing on my
u wanna go
have a taste of my cat teapot
Bro, get a look at my
Biatch please, I have a gang.
It’s like that Subway commercial where everyone loves Avocados
Chivalry Is And Has Always Been About Farting.
All chivalrous acts revolve around covering up farts. Opening doors for women has always been a great excuse to fart. You open the door, the woman walks through, you fart, and close the door, leaving the fart outside. The same thing goes for opening car doors, but you have the whole walk around the car to fart. Getting drinks from the bar, or any other offer to fetch something for a woman, is all about getting away from the woman, so you can fart. Any guy that actually put his coat over a puddle in the street for a woman to walk on, well, that guy must have really had to fart… a lot. Once you drop your jacket in a muddy street full of horses… We all know there were horses involved… Of course you are going to smell like shit afterwards. Smelling like shit, you would have what one might call, “fart blanche.” How is she ever going to know you are farting, when you are wearing or carrying a jacket that smells like horse shit. Really, the guys that started all this chivalry, knights, man… they must have been farting all the time, and bad. They had to fart so bad, so much, that they went away for months and years at a time on quests to avoid farting around their girlfriends.
Men haven’t become less chivalrous. Farting has become more accepted. Why? Short answer - Illuminati. Long answer - It is a long answer, so I’ll save it for another time.
All i remember about 2006 is Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland
OUT OF MY CAGE AND IVE BEEN DOING JUST FINE
(Source: targaryenfireandblood, via ugly-toes)
How convenient that JK Rowling made Tom Marvolo Riddle equal I Am Lord Voldemort when it’s obviously supposed to be Mr. Tom, A Dildo Lover.
(Source: sconeso, via ugly-toes)
1992 and still baby free!
(Source: stfuandsmdhoe, via gwenlightened)
I thought I would post this man here. I never post, but this is my friend. He’s pretty, and he smells delicious. He doesn’t know I took this picture.
visual grammar jokes are my favorite
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. — Mark Twain (via minutelyinspiration)