m a t t d a m o n

Apr 16

[video]

[video]

“We waste so many days waiting for weekend. So many nights wanting morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life.” — (via stay-ocean-minded)

(Source: joshuaglenn, via blondehairfitforrunning)

i-like-butt:

"your homework still isn’t done? what have you been doing this whole time??"

image

(via slowerthanexplorer)

[video]

[video]

Mar 25

(Source: the-printedword)

Feb 19

republicannibal:

piertotum-locomottor:

cuteleesi:

kingbard:

cuteleesi:

kingbard:

water-music:

image

Enjoying some dark chocolate almond milk in my favorite cup before work

image

it’s the cutest cup :3

i see your cat cup and raise you a cat bowl

image

image

Your cat bowl has nothing on my

Measuring cups

image

u wanna go

have a taste of my cat teapot

image

Bro, get a look at my

image

Actual cat

Biatch please, I have a gang.

image

It’s like that Subway commercial where everyone loves Avocados

(via blondehairfitforrunning)

chuckhistory:

Chivalry Is And Has Always Been About Farting. 

All chivalrous acts revolve around covering up farts. Opening doors for women has always been a great excuse to fart. You open the door, the woman walks through, you fart, and close the door, leaving the fart outside. The same thing goes for opening car doors, but you have the whole walk around the car to fart. Getting drinks from the bar, or any other offer to fetch something for a woman, is all about getting away from the woman, so you can fart. Any guy that actually put his coat over a puddle in the street for a woman to walk on, well, that guy must have really had to fart… a lot. Once you drop your jacket in a muddy street full of horses… We all know there were horses involved… Of course you are going to smell like shit afterwards. Smelling like shit, you would have what one might call, “fart blanche.” How is she ever going to know you are farting, when you are wearing or carrying a jacket that smells like horse shit. Really, the guys that started all this chivalry, knights, man… they must have been farting all the time, and bad. They had to fart so bad, so much, that they went away for months and years at a time on quests to avoid farting around their girlfriends. 

Men haven’t become less chivalrous. Farting has become more accepted. Why? Short answer - Illuminati. Long answer - It is a long answer, so I’ll save it for another time. 

chuckhistory:

Chivalry Is And Has Always Been About Farting. 

All chivalrous acts revolve around covering up farts. Opening doors for women has always been a great excuse to fart. You open the door, the woman walks through, you fart, and close the door, leaving the fart outside. The same thing goes for opening car doors, but you have the whole walk around the car to fart. Getting drinks from the bar, or any other offer to fetch something for a woman, is all about getting away from the woman, so you can fart. Any guy that actually put his coat over a puddle in the street for a woman to walk on, well, that guy must have really had to fart… a lot. Once you drop your jacket in a muddy street full of horses… We all know there were horses involved… Of course you are going to smell like shit afterwards. Smelling like shit, you would have what one might call, “fart blanche.” How is she ever going to know you are farting, when you are wearing or carrying a jacket that smells like horse shit. Really, the guys that started all this chivalry, knights, man… they must have been farting all the time, and bad. They had to fart so bad, so much, that they went away for months and years at a time on quests to avoid farting around their girlfriends. 

Men haven’t become less chivalrous. Farting has become more accepted. Why? Short answer - Illuminati. Long answer - It is a long answer, so I’ll save it for another time. 

[video]